Reward app for children: when it helps and when it backfires
Collecting stars instead of arguing sounds appealing. For some tasks it works well, for others it backfires. The difference has been studied.
Picture your daughter brushing her teeth without argument for three weeks, because a star comes afterwards. You think: why not do everything this way? And that evening you set up fifteen tasks — from making the bed to the bedtime story she loves anyway.
Two weeks later, in the middle of that story, she asks: “How many stars is this?” And you notice that something has tipped.
The short version
- A reward app for children works well for tasks that matter but are dull – brushing teeth, packing the school bag, laying the table.
- For things your child already enjoys, expected rewards are risky: in studies, children afterwards chose those activities less often of their own accord.
- The AOK parent trainer advises few, clearly described rules and a smallest reward that is already within reach after half a day.
- A trial week helps before you commit – so your child can see for themselves whether the plan is fair.
- klicksafe recommends children's apps with no advertising, no in-app purchases and no links out.
Reward app for children: what research says
The classic finding is more than fifty years old and remarkably stable. In 1973, Lepper, Greene and Nisbett had nursery children draw, something they liked doing anyway. One group was promised a certificate for it. In the free play that followed, those very children reached for the pens less often than the ones who had expected nothing.
A meta-analysis by Deci, Koestner and Ryan (1999) found the same pattern across many experiments: expected rewards tied to mere completion weakened intrinsic motivation. Warneken and Tomasello showed in 2008 that even among twenty-month-olds a material reward reduced the helpfulness they had shown spontaneously before.
That does not mean rewards are harmful. It means they work where there is little appetite to begin with. Nobody enjoys brushing their teeth.
Which tasks suit it
| Works well | Better not |
|---|---|
| Brushing teeth, making the bed, packing the school bag | Reading together, drawing, making music |
| Laying the table, emptying the dishwasher | Spontaneous helping and comforting |
| Getting started on homework | Good marks |
| Putting shoes away, taking the bins out | Anything your child already loves |
The right-hand column is the more important one. Spread a reward app for children across the whole day and you turn what used to be a pleasure into a performance. More on that in Reward charts for children.
How many tasks make sense
The AOK's ADHD parent trainer describes its points plan as a tool for cases where the appropriate behaviour can be clearly described in one rule and the child only has to follow that rule one to three times a day. That is a far smaller number than an app suggests — because an app will happily hold any number.
Two further pieces of advice from there are worth their weight in gold. The smallest reward should already be within your child's reach when they earn a little over half the day's possible points. And: announce a trial week, to see whether the plan is fair.
An app makes setting things up easy. That is precisely why it needs a brake in your head.
How to spot a good app
It shows little. Your child should see what is due today — not their points total for the last three months.
You decide the rewards. A trip out, a story, half an hour longer awake: what counts is up to your family, not a list inside an app.
No ads, no purchases. klicksafe names exactly this as a criterion for recommendable children's apps: no advertising, no links to shops or social networks, no paid extras bought from inside the app. The consumer advice centre points out how quickly many small in-app purchases add up — especially when payment details are stored on the device.
No other people's children. A league table against other families has no place in a reward app for children.
It can be wound down quietly. Once a habit has settled, the task should be able to disappear without a score being lost.
When it is better to stop
Once tooth brushing has settled after a few weeks, it can leave the plan. That is not a step backwards, it is the goal: the system is a bridge, not a permanent state.
Two warning signs deserve a second look. If your child starts asking the price before every favour, the plan has grown too wide — take out the tasks that used to happen voluntarily. And if you negotiate about points every evening, the plan is too complicated; fewer tasks in clearer words beat a finer points system.
How Fleißstern hands out stars
In Fleißstern you only set up the tasks that genuinely recur, per child, sorted into morning, afternoon and evening. For each one you decide how many stars it is worth. You pick the rewards together, at your own price — from a favourite meal to a day out.
In the child view your child sees only today and their star balance, not the last few months' tally. Stars can also be given by hand, with a reason attached, when something lovely happened that was on no list. There is no advertising, nothing to buy from inside the app and no comparison with other people's children.
Common questions
Is a reward app for children a good idea?
For important but unpopular tasks, yes. For activities children enjoy of their own accord, studies advise against it: announced rewards weakened intrinsic motivation there. So what matters is not the app but the choice of tasks.
How many tasks should it hold?
Few. The AOK's ADHD parent trainer recommends rules a child has to follow one to three times a day, and a smallest reward that is within reach at a little over half the day's points. Three to five tasks per child is a good start in practice.
From what age does this work?
As soon as a child understands that stars stand for something that comes later — usually from around four or five, with short routes to the reward. The younger the child, the quicker the route has to be: a goal two weeks away is no goal for a preschooler.
How do you end a reward system?
Not with a clean break, but by letting individual tasks disappear once they have settled. Children often barely notice, because the habit replaced the reward long ago. If a task stays difficult, it stays in the plan — that is not a failure.
Sources
- Lepper, Greene & Nisbett (1973): Undermining children's intrinsic interest with extrinsic reward. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 28(1) – PDF via MIT
- Deci, Koestner & Ryan (1999): A meta-analytic review of experiments examining the effects of extrinsic rewards on intrinsic motivation. Psychological Bulletin 125(6) – PubMed
- Warneken & Tomasello (2008): Extrinsic rewards undermine altruistic tendencies in 20-month-olds. Developmental Psychology 44(6) – PubMed
- Punkte-Plan (ADHD parent trainer) – AOK federal association
- Apps sicher nutzen – klicksafe, EU initiative for safer internet use
- In-Game- und In-App-Käufe: Wenn virtueller Spielspaß teuer wird – German consumer advice centre (Verbraucherzentrale)