Brushing teeth without a fight: making it a habit
It is eight in the evening, you are in the bathroom with the toothbrush, and your child's lips are clamped shut. What helps – and how long parents should keep brushing afterwards.
Picture it: 7:20 in the evening. Pyjamas on, bedtime book ready, just the teeth to go. You reach for the brush and your child's lips clamp shut like a safe.
Five minutes later you have pleaded, threatened and finally sung. About half the teeth are clean and you are both fed up. And this is something that comes round twice a day – which adds up to a great many evenings.
The short version
- The German Federal Institute for Public Health (BIÖG) recommends brushing for about two minutes, at least twice a day: after breakfast and before bed.
- The KAI method goes in three steps: chewing surfaces, outer surfaces, inner surfaces.
- By three or four, children can already use KAI well themselves, says the BIÖG – but parents should still brush after them until school age, especially in the evening.
- A fixed place in the evening routine removes more conflict than any discussion in front of the mirror.
- On fluoride and on the German dental check-ups Z1 to Z6, ask your paediatric or dental practice.
Why do children resist brushing their teeth?
Brushing teeth combines quite a lot of what children dislike: someone puts their hands in their mouth, the game is interrupted, and there is nothing visible to show for it. A child in the middle of building a den has no reason to be enthusiastic.
Then there is the timing. By evening many children have run out of patience, and that is exactly when the most thorough round is supposed to happen. That is not a parenting failure, it is an awkward combination – and precisely why it is worth working on the routine rather than on the child.
How often and how long should children brush?
The BIÖG recommends about two minutes, at least twice a day: after breakfast and before bed. Regular dental care should start with the first milk tooth – carefully, but without putting the child under pressure.
Further everyday advice from the BIÖG: a soft brush suited to the age, a neutral-tasting toothpaste, and an amount the parents measure out. Sweet drinks are better left out, water is the better choice, and sweets are best kept rare and given with meals rather than in between. Which fluoride approach suits your child is best discussed at your paediatric or dental practice; in Germany the free dental check-ups Z1 to Z6 can begin as early as between the sixth and ninth month.
What is the KAI method?
KAI is a fixed order so that no surface is forgotten. According to the BIÖG, children can use it well themselves by three or four.
| Step | Where | How |
|---|---|---|
| K | Chewing surfaces (Kauflächen) | short back-and-forth strokes on all the chewing surfaces |
| A | Outer surfaces (Außenflächen) | teeth together, circular strokes from the middle out to the right and left |
| I | Inner surfaces (Innenflächen) | small circles or rolls, from red to white – gum towards tooth |
Three steps are more concrete for a child than “everywhere, once”. And they give brushing an end: after the I, it is over.
How long do parents need to brush afterwards?
Until school age, and on every tooth surface – especially in the evening. The BIÖG recommends this explicitly, even when the child has already brushed themselves. Brushing alone and brushing afterwards are not alternatives; they are two steps.
In everyday life it helps to make a fixed sequence of it: your child first, then you. Handle that second part the same way every evening and you do not have to renegotiate it every evening.
What helps when your child will not?
A fixed place in the routine. Brushing teeth is not a matter for negotiation, it is a step between pyjamas and the bedtime story. What such an evening can look like is set out in an evening routine with children.
Announce it beforehand. Being pulled out of a game makes nobody more cooperative. In the IFP family handbook, child psychotherapist Klaus Fischer names missing warning time as a classic trap: “In five minutes we are brushing teeth” costs nothing and often saves half the argument.
Not too late. If brushing regularly falls into the most tired quarter of an hour, move it earlier – before the bedtime story rather than after it.
Give something to choose. Which toothbrush, which song, standing up or on your lap: whether the teeth get brushed is not up for choice, but plenty else is.
Not every evening has to go well. But every evening should go the same way.
How Fleißstern helps with brushing
“Brush your teeth” is already there as a template in Fleißstern – morning and evening. You set the task up once, and your child sees it in the children's view every day where it belongs, ticks it off themselves and watches the stars come in. If you like, the task can have a fixed time and a reminder.
Stars are no substitute for brushing after them, and no bargain struck at the basin. They make visible what is already done. How rewards motivate without doing harm is set out in reward charts for children.
Common questions
How often should children brush their teeth?
The German Federal Institute for Public Health recommends at least twice a day, after breakfast and before bed, for about two minutes each time. Regular dental care should start with the first milk tooth.
At what age can children brush their own teeth?
According to the German Federal Institute for Public Health, children can use the KAI method well themselves by three or four. Brushing alone does not mean finished, though: parents should brush every tooth surface after them until school age, especially in the evening.
What can I do if my child resists brushing?
A fixed place in the evening routine helps, along with a warning a few minutes beforehand and a time when your child is not yet completely worn out. The German Federal Institute for Public Health also advises making dental care playful and familiar, and not building up pressure.
How does the KAI method work?
KAI stands for chewing surfaces, outer surfaces, inner surfaces. First all the chewing surfaces with short back-and-forth strokes, then the outer surfaces with the teeth together and circular strokes, and finally the inner surfaces with small circles from red to white – gum towards tooth.
Sources
- Zähneputzen mit KAI – kindergesundheit-info.de, German Federal Institute for Public Health (BIÖG)
- So bleiben Kinderzähne gesund – kindergesundheit-info.de, German Federal Institute for Public Health (BIÖG)
- Gesunde Zähne von Anfang an – kindergesundheit-info.de, German Federal Institute for Public Health (BIÖG)
- Zahnmedizinische Vorsorge – kindergesundheit-info.de, German Federal Institute for Public Health (BIÖG)
- Grenzen setzen in der Erziehung (Klaus Fischer) – IFP-Familienhandbuch, Bavarian State Institute of Early Childhood Research